January 2012
12 posts
“I am not sure I can come to your party. My friend roped me into going to the Air...”
– my coworker Susan. The best RSVP ever.
“Where her arm go mommy?”
– Mimi, watching Soul Surfer with her older sisters. Note to self: pay closer attention to what 3 year is watching on TV.
building the guest list
We are getting ready to send out invitations for our annual (although we took a break in 2011) Mardi Gras party. I am at about 200 invites. Yep. That many. Needn’t fear- only about 125 show up, and they’re staggered out through the night. It’s more like an open house.
How do I pick who to invite? It seems like I keep adding people to the list. Here’s my criteria.
...
“Ski at home dad”
– John, describing fathers who stay at home to care for their children who also like to ski.
Here Are Some Adult My Little Pony Fanatics We Met... →
I believe in Bronies.
I hate balloons
I would be delighted if my children never, ever received or played with another balloon for the rest of their lives, or until at least they have kids of their own and will then understand how terrible balloons are.
Here is the problem with balloons- it always ends in tears. Name me ONE TIME a child has received a balloon and been happy with it until the demise of the balloon. Certainly not my...
A sick feeling
Last night I drove by a huge accident scene at 44/Jefferson in front of McDonald’s. Lots of ambulances, cop cars, road shut down, etc. I thought to myself, “gee, that looks terrible.”
Fast forward to picking up the kids from school. The older girls tell me a brother/sister pair, another 3rd grader and their mom were hit by a guy in a stolen car. The mom, a good friend who...
“I live in North America.”
– Mimi, spoken like a true product of Montessori.
December 2011
13 posts
Our cat is so fat
He tipped his litter box over while he was getting out of it.
Things I did not know about Minnesota
My husband’s brother and his family visited over Christmas. I learned a lot about living in Minneapolis
They do not call it a school buzz book. It’s called a School Directory.
If your car breaks down, people rush in to help you. People up there take great pride in helping others with car repairs, stranded vehicles, etc. Compare in contrast to my brother in law who was stranded...
“Oh so you’re a lawyer. Do you go to court and solve crimes?”
– Gus asking me about my job. For the record I do solve crimes involving insurance fraud
“The people here all look like their faces were photoshopped by amateurs.”
– John, discussing a crowd of people we saw at Our Lady of Snows Shrine. Other than that, it was a lovely evening with our older daughter performing and a lovely light display. The nativity scene grotto at the end was worth the drive, crowds and strange looking people.
Lunchroom mediator
I volunteer at the school lunchroom on the 3rd Friday of the month. It’s usually a piece of cake. Except this past Friday when the kids were BUZZING in preparation for Christmas. They had all clearly checked out. They just seemed wired.
Take, for example, this argument between a first grade girl and boy:
Peter burped and he didn’t say he was sorry.
-Olivia
I did say...
I am the mom and I make the decisions
I need to remember that mantra. Because in the last couple of months I’ve let the kids talk me into bad decisions.
Mom, these pants fit fine!
-Gus. No, the pants did not fit. He is a 7 husky not a 8 loose. He stuffed himself into the pants and now that they’ve been worn, they cannot be returned.
I like iced mocha peppermint
-Audrey. No, she didn’t like it and I knew...
Hip hop hockey
I would like to register Gus for another round of skating lessons and do Learn to Play hockey later this spring.
Gus, on the other hand, wants to take a hip hop class. He says he only ever agreed to Learn to Play last spring because “so mommy would stop making a frowny face.”
Fainters
Over the course of 4 kids and 11 years, I haven’t had a kid faint. Until yesterday. Phone rings. Caller id says it’s Gus’ kindergarten teacher. ”Oh great, what has he done?” I wonder. But the voice is not the kdg teacher but that of the principal of the school so I figure Gus has done something really, really bad.
“Kay has fainted.” I digest her...
“If you were raised by beavers would you grow teeth like beavers?”
– Gus.
“Am I allowed to say F*ck?”
– Gus, who asked if he could use the actual word.
Preparing for adventures in space
We were at a girl scout event at the Science Center to earn our Space Explorer badge. The moderator asked the girls what how they’d address the fact their hair may be crazy in space due to the lack of gravity. Audrey’s response:
I’d be sure to bring an oxygen mask and a lot of stylish headbands.
November 2011
19 posts
Jesus words
John: Gus how was Children’s mass?
Gus: I don’t know - I can’t speak Jesus words.
New rule
It’s the night before Thanksgiving and I’m trying to bake. Kay and Audrey, 11 and 9, want to bake with me. Fine. Except they KEEP TALKING about meaningless stuff (“do you like my hair longer or shorter?”) and as a result I am losing concentration. And anyone who has baked can tell you there is very little room for error with baking ingredients. If I add an extra...
Sleigh Ride
Two of the local radio stations started with Christmas music 24/7 back on November 1. I refuse to listen. Too early. If I had it my way, Christmas stuff would hit the stores up on December 15, I’d put the tree up after Advent and the Christmas season wouldn’t end until early January.
I will make one exception to the anti-Christmas music. Sleigh Ride. Because it’s not...
Late Night with Jimmy Fallon - The Doors Sing... →
St. Margaret of Scotland - Saints & Angels -... →
Today is the feast of St. Margaret of Scotland. She did it all- mother, queen, established churches and schools, helped the poor. She’s pretty cool.
Ottowalk
What I’ve noticed walking our new puppy Otto:
He likes to meet people
He’s not quite sure what to make of other dogs
Afraid of construction dumpsters and passing cars
He tries to walk into every bar we pass
Has yet to pee on a walk. I don’t think he knows he is allowed to
Top 11 Nigel Tufnel ‘Spinal Tap’ quotes for... →
Happy Nigel Tufnel Day.
In the "always f. something category" →
My son had a cough a couple of week ago. Took him to doctor and he was swabbed for pertussis/whooping cough. The initial fast result was negative. The culture itself was positive! He was treated with antibiotics last week; he’s fine now. I am worried we’ve exposed people. He was never really sick, just coughing. Looking forward to my call from the city health department. Be...
“Dear Tummy, you are a gerbil and I am surprised you’ve been with us for...”
“Dear Mimi, you sure are 3 years old aren’t you? I’ve always thought...”
“Dear Kay, the main reason I don’t want you to start shaving your legs is...”
“Dear Otto, you are a dog. I would be happy to let you out of your kennel...”
“Dear Gus, I had no idea you liked Whoppers candy. No clue. Personally, I...”
“Dear Audrey, why do you keep using wine glasses as water goblets?”
I signed up for this
That is, two kids with October birthdays. In January 2000 and 2005, I said to myself, “wouldn’t it be nice to have an October baby.” 41 weeks later I had Kay and Gus, respectively.
Which means October is the most ridiculous month on earth. Sports, activities, parties. I am lucky to have such problems.
In numbers:
24 soccer practices
20 miles logged by 3 kids at the school...
October 2011
16 posts
Arsenal Nation
What kind of mother doesn’t have a Cardinals tee shirt for her son to wear during the Cardinals’ quest to win the World Series? That would be me. Gus is almost 6 and he really likes baseball. The kid was lucky enough to go to one of the last regular season games with his buddy IG. He even got to go to the Busch stadium press box. But does he have a Cardinals shirt? Nope. Not...
“When I grow up I want to be an actor on broadway by day and by night I will be a...”
– Clare, age 11, cousin
good mom/bad mom
What I did this past weekend.
Good mom escorted her husband to an agency premier party for the reality show Sweetie Pies on the Oprah network. Bad Mom drank too much vodka and spilled champagne on the magazine display.
Good mom went to the school PTA Oktoberfest. Bad mom drank too much Beck’s Oktoberfest and wore a silly cowboy hat.
Good mom woke up at 7:30 am to have folks over to...